3 Degrees from a Noose: Remorse to Repentance (Part I)

A little over a week ago I tag-teamed a sermon with a great friend and preacher Luke Norsworthy.  Luke is the Lead Pastor of Venture Community, a dynamic church plant in Denton, TX.  Check them out!! He was preaching a Lenten series using Matthew as his text. As a part of the series he wanted to compare Matthew's narrative of two better known Jesus disciples, the yin and yang of the elect 12, Peter and Judas.  Luke invited me to step into the series and co-preach this particular passage. What follows comes from that sermon.

If you have studied the gospels at all you will recognized the two names Peter and Judas and likely you will have very different reactions to each of them.  You will tend to picture Peter as a hero of the faith, as a pillar of early Christianity, as a model and example of a legit Christ-follower.  Judas, on the other hand...let's just say you are not going to name your child after him.  Both characters ended in very different places. Peter ended, according to Christian tradition, as a martyr for Christ.  Judas? His intestines exploded all over the ground when he hanged himself in shame. Although both apostles wound up at different ends of the spectrum there was a moment when they were in the exact same place.

Jesus chose both Peter and Judas to follow him.  Both accepted.  Jesus predicted that both of them would deny/betray him.  Both swore they would never do such a thing. Both did deny/betray him.  Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss, turning him over to the Jewish authorities for a mere 30 pieces of silver. Peter denied Jesus three times in Christ's most desperate hour. Both failed miserably, and HERE IS WHERE WE NEED TO REALLY FOCUS - both were remorseful and sorrowful over their sin and failure.

When Peter realized what he had done the text says, "...he [Peter] went outside and wept bitterly." And when Judas realized that the Sanhedrin actually delivered a guilty verdict against Jesus (It's my opinion Judas did not think Jesus would be convicted. He knew Jesus was innocent and figured there was not enough evidence to convict him) the text reads, "He [Judas] was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 'I have sinned,' he said, 'for I have betrayed innocent blood.'”

Peter and Judas both had the proper response when coming to grips with their sin: remorse and sorrow and yet they ended up in vastly different places.  Peter goes on to be a great leader in the Church while Judas commits suicide. They ended up in different places because Peter demonstrated Godly Sorrow while Judas demonstrated Worldly Sorrow.  Paul defines Godly Sorrow and Worldly Sorrow in II Corinthians 7:10, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

In other words, God desires for sorrow to lead you to repentance.  Sorrow is not repentance.  Sorrow is brokenness and remorse over the destruction you have caused.  Repentance is a change in direction, a 180 degree turn. It is the choice to realign yourself with the way of Christ. If your sorrow leads you toward repentance, then repentance will lead you back to salvation and regret-free living.  On the other hand, Satan desires for your sorrow to feed your guilt and grow your shame until you are held captive by your brokenness, ending in despair... or as Judas, in death.  When sorrow leads you in that direction it is Worldly Sorrow.  NT Wright describes it this way, " -“The first goes down the hill of anger, recrimination, self-hatred and ultimately self-destruction, the way that leads to death. The second goes down the route Peter took, of tears, shame & a way back to life.”

I'm going to venture to say that all of us have felt sorrow and/or remorse over our sin. This is the correct first step, but what will you do with it?  Will you let your sorrow lead you to repentance or will you let it shackle you to shame?  Clearly, we want the way of Godly Sorrow, one that leads to repentance. The struggle lies in figuring out how to move from remorse/sorrow to repentance.  I believe the key to Godly sorrow, the bridge from remorse to repentance is the ability to accept God's grace.

In my next post I'll share three things from my personal experience that are necessary when accepting God's grace.  

New Church Dress Code: Midriffs

It was LCU chapel and I was up to bat. It went something like this: Hey guys, I have been thinking a lot about what to say today and I have wrestled with whether to share this or not. This is not easy for me to do.  I know some of you think of me as a spiritual leader but there is something you don't know about me.  There is something that I keep hidden everyday as I walk this campus. Now, this is going to shock some of you... but..."  And then I lifted my shirt and declared, "Yes, I have a bellybutton!" 

After I cleaned the lent out, I went on to explain how ridiculous it is to walk around pretending to be bellybuttonless and that it is equally ridiculous to walk around pretending to be sinless. That day I challenged the student body to practice authenticity. Nothing really changed, because practicing authenticity and transparency is extremely difficult and many times it is most difficult among fellow Christians.  Too often Christian communities foster an atmosphere that encourages layered clothing instead of midriffs.  And yet, I believe Jesus intended the Church to have midriff uniforms.  Here are three things I believe churches should do to foster an authentic and transparent environment.

1.  Recenter regularly on the cross.  The cross reminds us that no matter how many layers of clothes we throw on the bellybutton is still there.  Even if we putty it over...the putty will eventually crack and fall out.  Sometimes Christians seem to compete to see who needs Christ the least.  This fosters "layered environments." For this reason, Churches must recenter regularly on the cross. The cross reminds us that Jesus did what we could and can never do.  The cross reminds us that our identity in Christ is based on his work and not ours.  When we hide our present struggles, failures, and sins we are claiming that that human perception is more powerful than Christ's death.  When we wear masks we confess a weak view of the cross.  As Chuck Swindoll said, "All ground is level at the foot of the cross."  If the cross accomplished what scripture claims then your sin does not define you, Jesus does.  When we truly believe this and accept this (trust me, this is a difficult journey) it frees us toward authenticity and transparency. Keep preaching the cross.

2.  Leadership Leads.  It has been my long-held belief, in spite of ministry courses teaching the contrary, that leaders should model authenticity and transparency.  Although discretion is necessary, I believe, outside of a good understanding of the cross, that the number one factor in creating a transparent and authentic community is when the leadership models it.  When a leader stands up and shares openly about her/his struggles the congregation sighs, "It is okay to be real here." Transparency can be extremely difficult for leaders because they are encouraged, more than anyone, to layer their clothes! [Read with sarcasm] - "We all know leaders are leaders because they don't have bellybuttons." Leaders within congregations should work together brainstorming and praying over various ways to model authenticity and transparency.

In college I had an opportunity to speak at the most highly attended campus devotional. I would be in  a position of leadership for one night. The month before it was my turn to speak I felt God calling me to be honest and transparent about certain struggles I was having at that time.  After much wrestling in prayer, I decided to answer the call.  I stood up in front of my peers and shared from my brokenness.  I challenged everyone to find a friend and to do the same before the night was over.  The response was overwhelming, but what I remember most was an acquaintance of mine who wrote me a several page letter expressing in detail his struggle with same-sex attraction. He demonstrated extreme courage and took a great risk in sharing such deep and personal struggles with me. I believe he felt safe to share his deeply personal struggles, although different than mine, because I took the risk first.  Leaders need to lead with transparency.

3.  Regularly offer and encourage safe confessional opportunities during worship.  Whether you agree theologically or not, Sunday mornings still offer the greatest opportunity to reach the most people with the good news of Jesus Christ.  I believe every Sunday needs an intentional time and space for confessional/healing prayer.  I'm not suggesting an invitation song - AHHHH, NOOOOOO!  I see it more like this... a 5-8 minute musical segment where the lights are low and prayer teams decorate the room in various locations. During this time the community is encourage to receive prayer for pain, sin, and/or celebration.  This makes "sharing" a natural and normal part of the community rhythm. (Also a great time for leadership to model transparency and authenticity.)

One Sunday morning, in a congregation that practiced a similar "prayer time," a group of 10-12 visiting women made their way to the front of the auditorium and fell prostrate before God in prayer.  It was a moment that shocked many of our members but was an amazing demonstration of transparency and authenticity.  I later discovered that these women were from a long-term drug and alcohol rehabilitation home.  That moment of transparency birthed a whole new ministry to this amazing group of women.  Their actions taught us something powerful that day about brokenness, transparency, and God's healing power.

Some may say, "Fostering that kind of environment might imply that we do not take sin seriously." I  strongly disagree.  We take sin seriously only when we are willing to risk our reputation, our favor with people, and our credibility by acknowledging it and asking for help to fight against it.  One of Satan's classic schemes is "privacy and silence."  Break the silence; wear a midriff.

Embezzling Anti-Semitic Head Shavers

Fallon, "Apparently Herman Cain gave his first press conference since the sexual harassment charges. First, he took a bunch of questions and then he took a bunch of phone numbers." "Ha-ha-ha," goes the studio audience and those of us lounging in our lazy-boy with a bowl of Captain Crunch.  We take our fingers and point at Herman shaking our heads. Is he guilty or not guilty?  I guess that's for the masses, equipped with 'unbiased' information from rating-crazed news programs, comedians, and online tidbits, to decide.  I won't defend Cain and I won't condemn him because I have no idea what happened. Guilty or not he isn't alone... Schwarzenegger, Edwards, Clinton, Lohan, Gibson, fill in the ______________ (there are lots to choose from).  But, this post isn't about Cain or an other tabloid star or rating magnet.  It is about me and perhaps it is about you.

As a human-beings living in an "Under Reconstruction" era we have a capacity to, a tendency toward, a pull toward contributing to brokenness - sin, screw ups, and choosing ourselves over others.  When all these celebs and pseudo-celebs (politicians) prove themselves sinners in the public eye, not only does the media highlight their poor choices with florescent lights and a high school marching band, but I have assumed the role of armchair judge and sometimes as armchair God.  I not only proclaimed the verdict, "Guilty!" but also somehow knew the heart, mind and character of this individual who I had never met.

It is easy vilify.  Sometimes we need someone to vilify. So we take past mistakes of celebs and we destroy their character.  Sometimes we take recent mistakes of celebs and strip them of their humanness.  We laugh at them; we use them as sermon examples; we boycott their products; we define them by their mistakes. Don't get me wrong.  Celebrities make mistakes... sometimes BIG ones with devastating consequences.  I think they should  take responsibility, seek restoration, tackle the consequences head on with class.  Perhaps some even have faulty character...?  But whether guilty or not, remorseful or not, character-flawed or not I have taken off the robe and put down the gavel.

I busted the sin pinata this summer; in other words I committed one of the 'big' ones.  I wake up every day with regret, not guilt or shame anymore, but regret.  I wish people could see my heart and my longings but too often it is overshadowed by the affair.  I'm not upset about this reality; it's part of the consequences.  That's why I breath-pray, "It is God who justifies; it is God who justifies." But, I have walked in shoes I hadn't worn before and it's changed they way I see celebrity screw ups.  My guess is some of them wake up with daily regret too.  Some of them try to cover up their mistakes with lies because they are afraid the weight of public scrutiny would crush them (many lay buried below its rubble).  Some live in great sorrow and pain knowing history will remember them by their mistakes.

They are not victims but they are also not the sum total of their mistakes.  Now. Today. I focus on their humanness: people with legit feelings, people made in the image of God, people in need of redemption, people with the capacity to change, people just like me.

Same Like Like Same

I was nestled in my upstairs corner office lost in the world of the sermon when, "Pastor Taylor!  Pastor Taylor!"  I knew it was a visitor; my Church of Christers understood that referring to me as "Pastor" had a place at the top of the list with National Treason and Blaspheming the Spirit. I was a "Minister."

As the familiar voice jarred me out of "Dimension Homily" back to the real world I made my way down the stairs to find a local pastor waving a document in the air.  Little did I know it was not a piece of paper but a bugle calling me to war.  He handed it to me and encouraged with flare, "This is a petition for the State Legislature. It's to sway them from passing a bill that gives the same rights to homosexual partners as married couples. You do know this bill is a step toward legalizing gay marriage?  Sign it and have all your members sign it!"

I didn't sign it and I didn't announce it from the pulpit.  I simply put it on the Church tack board, another minnow in a parchment sea.  My refusal to lay down my John Hancock was no attempt at a political statement.  I don't hope in politics and I don't believe in legislating morality or Christianity.  Legislation targets behavior, like training a dog.  I can get my dog to quit peeing on the carpet by slipping him some baco-fake every time he tinkles outside and by scolding him, "Bad dog!" every time he waters the carpet.  It may get the behavior I want but it doesn't transform the pooch's desire - dogs love peeing on carpet.  The difference between the human species and the canine is that most people are smarter than dogs.  People find ways of conforming to the imposed behavior while at the same time scouting out large enough cracks in the system to still fulfill their desires.  My refusal to sign the petition was not a political ploy; it was the influence of stuff lik Mark 2:15-16:

While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 

Since Mark clearly identifies the Pharisees as the antagonist of his gospel we Church people tend to read this passage and give Jesus a fist bump, "Yeah Jesus, stick it to the Pharisees!"   But Jesus' actions and the company he kept was offensive not to the world but to the religious.  To put it in perspective, I believe if Jesus were here today we would find him engaging people in gay bars and being present, although probably not marching and definitely not picketing, at the gay parades strolling through Washington.  Jesus always engaged.  He never built walls or fortresses.  When churches rally the troops and actively protest gay rights through legislation, etc., we build walls, create gaps, and push the gay community further away and in so doing hinder our ability to embrace the "engaging" strategy of Christ.  I believe that introducing the gay community to the upside-down way of Christ through genuine, caring relationship is far more redemptive than ANY legislation.

So...

1. To non-christian individuals and communities actively, even flamboyantly, living out the gay lifestyle... why not?  If you are not a professing follower of Jesus Christ, then why would you submit to the way of Christ.  We cannot hold a non-believing world to a believer's worldview.  And yet openly homosexual individuals are STILL people.  Therefore, the next time you come across a same-sex couple or an openly gay guy, instead of crinkling your nose, or giving the raised-eyebrow-big-eyed-"He's gay!"  glance toward your neighbor, or starting a little gossip party remember that that person or that couple desires to be loved, fears loneliness and rejection, needs affirmation and encouragement, and deserves dignity and respect.  We, of all people, have an underground storm shelter stocked with an arsenal of love, affirmation, encouragement, dignity and respect...so lock and load!
2. To Christians struggling with same sex attraction... those of us who don't, need to identify and step into the great suffering and isolation many of them face on a daily basis.  Many of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters have no idea how to overcome their feelings and fight to stop their homosexual activity but feel the church is the last place on the globe where they can honestly express their struggle.  I could imagine that many individuals struggling with same-sex attraction live tortured lives of guilt and frustration with God.  Several years ago I was at a Christian camp of 1000 high school students.  Two nights in a row, two different keynotes delivered jokes with a "homosexual punchline."  The audience roared with laughter.  That moment, that moment that cannot be taken back, did more damage than we far could imagine.  For a crowd of a thousand, dozens of students must have at that very moment been struggling with same sex attraction. Perhaps they had come that very week to find a listening ear and a compassionate heart but what they found was roaring laughter at their most difficult and confusing and deep battle.  They would have to turn elsewhere for the compassion they desired and needed.  The Church cannot laugh. We must declare, "You belong here!  We love you!  We want to understand your battle, your pain, your failures, your successes.  You are one of us.  We long to walk with you in the messiness of it all, to walk acknowledging that there is a Friday of struggle, pain, death and sin but to choose with you to live in the hope and in the New Creation of Sunday."

The Pouting God

Sin is not and has never been about RULES; it is always about RELATIONSHIP.  God did not gather his heavenly crew around the dinner table over some Swedish Meatballs and Potato Dumplings and say, "Here's what I'm thinking: We make a list of things that I don't like and see if these humanlings can tote the line."  And then when you and I do one of the "no-no's," God gets furious because, "How dare we defy his authority."  So he pouts, "I'm not going to be your friend (God) anymore."  This "rule" understanding of sin creates a works-righteousness Christianity, a legalistic mindset.  It creates a competitive Christianity, a Christianity in which we take pride in our effort!  It removes the focus from God and love of others.

But sin is not about rules; it is about relationship.  When Jesus sums up the law in the prophets he uses relational language, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength.  And, love your neighbor as yourself."  Even The Ten Commandments are poorly translated; they are more accurately translated "The Ten Words."  God hates sin, not because it defies his authority but because it destroys the Shalom of his creation.  Shalom being the harmony, wholeness and health of His creation.
 
Sin destroys, tears down, and annihilates all relationships: human/human, human/Nature, human/God.  God does not punish us for our sins by sending us out of his presence.  Sin, by its nature, destroys our relationship with God.  I have preached much on sin, but this is not a sermon manuscript.  I'm typing from personal experience.  I have seen first hand how my sin destroys relationships, hurts people, shatters esteem, fosters doubts, abuses the innocent, raises relational barriers, hinders life, breaks hearts... My sin always affects others.  Your sin always affects others.  That is the problem with the world:  6 billion peoples' sin stacked on top of each other - an unsolvable exponential problem.  You get the world in its current state and a God whose heart breaks.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God, who delivers me, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 7:24-25

Bloody Noses and Tear-Jerking Melodies

Have you ever punched EVERYONE you care about right in the face? I did! - right smack on that tender bridge cartilage where it hurts the most.  And those closest to me... I punched them even harder.  Now I'm asking for their forgiveness as I stare in the eyes of their bloody, swollen faces- victims of my fists. I know what it feels like to be crushed by my own weight!  Then my friend offers me this song: 

A woman's voice carries the melody.  She longs to perform, to impress, to offer a sacrifice to God:

"What can I do for you? What can I bring to you?

What kind of song would you have me to sing..."

After a few more verses, she sings God's reply:

"You don't have to DO a thing.  Just simply be with me

and let those things go. 'Cause they can wait another minute..."

It is here, in the truth of these lyrics, where I place my hands on my hips, let my heart rate decelerate, and breathe.  I let these words shoulder my weight, keeping myself from smothering me.  It is here...